BE PREPARED FOR SOME SERIOUS RANTING
Not in any particular order:
1. Pau-heads: If anyone is unaware of what a pau is, it is a cute little bun with stuff like char siew and mashed yam inside. Contrary to this, the pau-head hairstyle is the FARTHEST THING from cute, yet tons of girls here have gotten the idea that it looks good on them. I’ve got something to say to that: IT DOESN’T! AT ALL! GOD!!!!!! STOP WEARING YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT IT ISN’T CUTE OR SEXY OR WHATEVER OMG. I REALLY HATE THIS HAIR, especially when worn by eyeliner-crazy girls with their straight hair and fake eyelashes and high-waisted shorts and ~vintage~ tops from places like Topshop and Forever21 or, perhaps, everybody’s favourite hip and INDIEWHOAZXZ hangout place, Haji Lane! BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS “INDIVIDUALITY!!!!” LIKE WEARING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS WEARING, RIGHT?
2. Boyfriend shirts: These don’t disturb me as much as how everyone is COMPLETELY massacring this style by wearing it just awfully with their silly little tights and belts and stupid shoes and stupid everything. My heart goes out to those poor innocent shirts. 😥
3. Tights/leggings/stockings/NOT PANTS as pants: THEY ARE NOT PANTS! THEY WILL NEVER BE PANTS! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR ASS SO CLEARLY! PLEASE DO THE WORLD A FAVOUR AND STOP WEARING LEGGINGS AS PANTS UNLESS YOU ARE AS THIN AS MY FRIEND AND NO PANTS FIT YOU AT ALL NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU LOOK. I am so glad Lindsay Lohan grew out of that.
4. Headbands: ALL I CAN SAY IS OMG IT DOESN’T FIT YOU, IT MAKES YOU LOOK REALLY DUMB, IT IS SERIOUSLY SO VERY OBNOXIOUS LOOKING AND OMG STOP TRYING TO BE SO “INDIE” AND PLEASE GET OVER THE HIPPIE LOOK ALREADY
5. Tiny bags: I don’t understand how people can get so crazy over teeny little bags which fit like one tube of lipstick and, maybe if they are REALLY LUCKY, their mobile phone (omg!!! wow!!!!!). JUST GET A NORMAL SIZED BAG ALREADY, god. Not only is it really inconvenient, it’s really not all that cute and you look kind of ridiculous. In my opinion, the only people who can carry tiny little bags without looking absolutely retarded are small people and children, and even then…
6. Flip flops: I don’t even know if this can be considered FASHION, but people SURE LOVE TO WEAR THEM here in sunny little Singapore. Yes, it’s warm here. Yes, you need comfort or convenience or whatever. But, come on, HAVE SOME DIGNITY! They are totally inappropriate at so many places! AND THEY ARE JUST SO VERY UGLY!!!!!! Which brings me to the next one……
7. Crocs: Do I even NEED to explain?? SRSLY U GUIZ
8. Boots: I hate boots. They are so ugly and most of the time they make people here look completely absurd. They also have the tendency to make one look as though s/he is either a) performing at some getai show, b) a hooker or a cowgirl (depending on the rest of the outfit), or c) dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Sure, some people can wear boots, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone here REALLY pull it off… yet. (And, seriously… Boots in this weather? Okaaaaaay.)
9. Geek glasses when you don’t even NEED to wear glasses: Oh my god, honestly, I HATE THIS TREND. Some people can pull it off but MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY!!!!!!!!!! can’t. And it’s just so ridiculous to wear it when you don’t even need to. So many people (read: IRRITATING) follow this trend blindly and wear them thinking they look oh-so-cute or hip or like, I don’t know, indie or some shit like that. STOP TRYING. JUST. STOP. Omg, sometimes I just feel like ripping those glasses off their faces and screaming “HEY YOU, YOU LOOK SO DUMB”, but I resist. I RESIST. I’m talking those BIG GEEK GLASSES btw. Smaller black rimmed ones aren’t as INFURIATING and kdfjlksdjfjkdjfkdsANNOYING.
10. Gladiator sandals: This was a tough choice. There were so many possibilities: dual-coloured skinny jeans, coloured skinny jeans in general (although they are okay sometimes, but only sometimes), vests (yes, this is an issue for me), shorts + leggings combination, skinny boys wearing ugly singlets, men wearing shorts way above their knee, knee-high socks on girls who should not be wearing knee-high socks, everything from New Urban Male (possibly the worst store in the world)… and the list goes on. Why did I choose gladiator sandals? BECAUSE I AM JUST SO VERY SICK OF SEEING THEM. I especially hate the big, chunky ones, as well as those awful knee length ones. TOTAL. NIGHTMARE.
Phew. I am exhausted now.